


IOU

by sdlonyernayr



Category: Deadpool (2016), The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), Ultimate Spider-Man (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M, spider-man/deadpool - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:09:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6826732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sdlonyernayr/pseuds/sdlonyernayr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He breathed, “Tell me exactly what the hell you’re doing here or so help me–”</p><p>“Saving your ass.”</p><p>Spiderman paused, his eyes narrowing beneath his mask and his grip becoming less tense around Deadpool’s neck.</p><p>“What the fuck does it look like I’m doing, genius?”</p><p>Spiderman hesitated, but eventually backed down, giving Deadpool some room.</p><p>「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」</p><p>Deadpool is a killer. Spiderman is the complete opposite. But when he discovers the mercenary is obsessed with him–</p><p>"I'm not obsessed, just 'overly interested'!" Deadpool shrieked when he rushed in, turning his back to the readers and attempting to rub the text off the screen with a fist. After failing, he turned back to you and scowled beneath his mask, "Just shut up and read the story, ya filthy animal!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Big Time

**Author's Note:**

> i don't really know where i'm going with this. enjoy.

A-choo!

Fighting a crazy, biologically enhanced lizard would be easier if Spiderman hadn’t been fighting a cold at the same time. Today he had woken up with a stuffy nose and swollen eyes, making it impossible to keep focus on things and resist the temptation to sniffle every five seconds. As a superhero, he couldn’t take days off. Especially not today.

The Lizard was out of the sewers once again and Spiderman’s duty was to keep all the citizens of New York safe and lure him away from the city. He had been chasing him down the streets for the passed ten minutes, weaving between large corporate buildings and alleyways. Was it just him, or had the Lizard gotten faster since the last time he had fought him?

“Dr. Conners! Slow down, I know it’s you in there!” He tried, but yelped and ducked when a car was swung at him. Quickly, he looked over his shoulder and shot a web that cradled the car before it slammed into a nearby building. Phew.

When he looked forward again, the superhero was faced with an unexpected surprise. Smacking into the window of an apartment building, his body twitched before gravity peeled it off the wall and he was sent tumbling down towards the hard sidewalk. His wrist shot up on instinct to web a nearby lamp post, and he was able to swing himself to safety.

Spiderman looked around, vision blurry before he shook himself out. Where did the Lizard go? His eyes caught sight of a sewage lid that had been slid open. Bingo.

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The ground was mucky and green in the sewer, as always. There was nothing truly new about this situation. Chasing the Lizard around and talking him back into his doctor form was a normal event for the webbed wonder. As he made his way down the tunnel, alongside the river of garbage, he got to the middle of the grid point. Up ahead was where their usual fight happened. That was the sole reason Spiderman did not expect a quick figure to zoom passed him right then, blowing a gust of wind that made him turn around as quickly as he could — nothing. He could have sworn something had just–

“Woah!” He screeched when he was sent flying forward by a fast force, crashing onto his stomach on the other side of the waterfall. Groaning, he used his elbows to ease himself onto his feet, and turned around to look across the pool of liquid– still nothing.

Whatever was attacking him was so quick that it was interfering with his Spidey sense. What could it be? And where was the Lizard? The superhero’s thoughts were cut short when the back of his head started tingling. Before he could shoot a web to get out of harm’s way, scaly hands wrapped around his torso and picked him up, squeezing a little tighter than his organs would have liked.  
The Lizard growled behind him, “You have been interfering with my work for too long, Peter Parker,” It hissed, turning and raising the hero above its head, ready to smash him into the sewer’s wall, “Now you shall pay!”

Spiderman whimpered, turning his head away from his painful destiny that was in the form of a hard wall. This is gonna hurt, he thought to himself as he attempted to squirm out of the villain's grip.

The hands tightened around his waist, but just as he was about to be slammed away, a gunshot could be heard. The sound was nowhere near them, but in the distance. Both the Lizard and the webbed wonder turned their heads to look passed the pool of water curiously.

“Made ya look!”

A man in a red suit appeared out of the shadows, his gun pointed upwards to where he must have shot to get their attention. Black trimmed certain areas of his costume, especially around his eyes, and he looked as if he was equipped to the brim with weapons.

The Lizard growled, but the man moved his arm to shoot straight at the beast, making him whimper and drop Spiderman.

“Agh!” The creepy crawler screeched, falling onto his stomach once again and listening when the Lizard stomped away as quickly as he could. When Spiderman looked up again, he was met face-to-face with red spandex that seemed to be hugging two toned legs tightly.

He groaned, slowly standing up to face his savoir -- Deadpool. The minute the mercenary’s name scrambled into his mind, he stepped backwards in order to gain his personal bubble again, forgetting to thank him altogether. He had only heard stories of the masked murderer, the Merc with a Mouth, the Regenerating Degenerate– all of which were horrid and insane. His face was quite a sight to see, in the worst way possible. He had good pay, killing for a living. And he was not going to get himself started on the ‘Super Penis’ rumors.

Deadpool had his fists on his hips in a stereotypical, superhero stance, but Spiderman knew he was no superhero.

The mercenary looked like he had just saved the world, he was so proud of himself.

“That’s no way to treat your hero,” his voice was fakely high, as if everything that came out of his mouth was supposed to be humorful, “Come give Uncle Pool a hug!” Leaping forward, the much heavier man pulled the spider into a bone-crushing hug.

The boy broke free of Deadpool’s grip within few attempts. Stepping back yet again, he scowled beneath his mask, “What are you–”

“Wow, you’re strong for a spider!” The mercenary threw his arms up into the air, exaggerating his suspension of belief. Then he slowly lowered them, nodding as if he had just gotten intel from a source, “You’re right, he doesn’t know me personally…”

Spiderman looked around.

“... I wouldn’t call it stalking… How about research from a distance?”

Who was he talking to?

“That is not the same thing, White! Yellow, don’t encourage White! I–” Deadpool paused, looking at the superhero in front of him as if he had only just realized he was there.

His voice became a mere whisper over his left shoulder, “Shut up and let me talk to Spidey.”

He turned back to the former victim, “As I was saying–”

“You’ve been stalking me?!” Spiderman questioned, rather loudly, his paranoia kicking in. Millions of questions raced through his mind, his hands clenching into fists. How long had this been going on? And why? When he was Spiderman, or did this Deadpool guy know about Peter Parker too? Were they talking 24/7?!

“Woah there, Mrs. Pool, if you cook for any longer you’ll get soggy,” Deadpool retaliated.

“... What?”

“I prefer my pasta Al Dente.”

It had only been a few minutes of bantering, but Spiderman was down to his last straw. His head tilted to the side in a creepy manner before he sped up to push Deadpool against a wall, upwardly gripping a fistfull of the other’s suit.

The mercenary gulped before verbally retorting, “... Didn’t know you were the silent, kinky type.”

Spiderman’s other hand rushed up to strangle Deadpool’s throat, his fingers wrapping around it and squeezing. He breathed, “Tell me exactly what the hell you’re doing here or so help me–”

“Saving your ass.”

Spiderman paused, his eyes narrowing beneath his mask and his grip becoming less tense around Deadpool’s neck.

“What the fuck does it look like I’m doing, genius?”

Spiderman hesitated, but eventually backed down, giving Deadpool some room.

“You’re right, I’m– I’m sorry,” he breathed, gaze lowering to the hard floor, “Thanks.”

The mercenary twisted his lips beneath his mask, then unsheathed one of his katanas, running a gloved finger along the smooth, silver bladeside.

“Enough with the sap, posh spice,” he said, his voice gradually becoming lower as he started walking in the direction the Lizard had run off in.

The webbed wonder looked up again, raising his eyebrows behind his mask, “Wait, where are you going?”

“Lizard hunting.”

Raising his palm quickly, Spiderman shot a web at the mercenary’s back, pulling to stop him in his tracks.

He stuttered, “You– You can’t kill it!”

It was Deadpool’s turn to raise his eyebrows. He knew Spiderman was a goodie two shoes, but he did not know it escalated this far. Did he really have a soft spot for villains? Especially the Lizard guy who had just tried to make him into a spider pancake?

“Why the hell not?” The mercenary asked, turning around with the webbing still plastered to his back.

“Because it’s my friend... he’s only this lizard because of a stupid serum.”

“The Lizard man is your friend?”

“Even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t let you kill it,” Spiderman spoke humbly.

Just then, Deadpool threw his head back in a fit of laughter until he was wiping non-existent tears off his mask. This went on before his composure dramatically shifted into one of fullout seriousness. He took a few steps forward, but the two were still a length apart.

“Do you know who I am?” His voice was lethally low.

Spiderman’s feet were glued in place, but he still spoke despite his sudden fear, “You’re Deadpool. You’re a killer…”

“A killer you owe.”

Spiderman grew silent, not quite catching on to what the mercenary was trying to say.

Deadpool stepped forward, talking as he got closer to the spider, “That ‘friend’ of yours was about to kill you. I don’t know you all that well, even if I may or may not have been stalking you, but I’ve heard enough about you to know you don’t have a healing factor as amazeballs as mine, Spidey.” The tone and pitch of his voice contradicted his choice of words. He paused until he was face-to-face with the webbed wonder, “I saved your life. You owe me. _Big time_.”


	2. Happy (Not-So) Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay! things haven't been going very well for me lately. especially since a friend of mine told me the first chapter wasn't good. in detail. ahahaha ^^' thankfully, writing is still my escape. enjoy this chapter! it's longer than i thought it would be and took me so so long to write. (sorry about the lack of italics in the last chapter, i will fix that shortly.) i was also meaning to ask you guys something: i'm very used to writing proper english like essays, so i always write things like "will not" and "do not" rather than "won't" and "don't". i'm not sure which style i should use for this. last chapter, i focused avoiding contractions. this chapter, i use them throughout the entire thing. since fanfiction is a very much based on trial-and-error, i was wondering what you guys thought? i'm sorry i'm so proper. you are all probably like "uh who cares angie just get on with it" and i'm over here stressing over words. heh. anyways, again, enjoy!!

“Ah,” Deadpool sighed loudly, stretching his arms up above his head and transferring his hands to his hips, eyes scrolling over the bags of party supplies he had just purchased from the nearest Family Dollar store. Wasn’t as great as Dollarama, but he had settled for it anyways. 

The night before had gone pretty well, if he did say so himself. After him and the spider had retreated out of the sewers, he had let Deadpool follow him all the way home. The mercenary couldn’t help but make jokes, especially about the other’s _fine_ ass, during their parkour session, but he wasn’t sure if that was why Spiderman had drawn the line at entering his home. Maybe it was the pure fact that he might have actually scared the webbed wonder.

“Poor Spidey,” he spoke out loud to himself, a soft breeze blowing over the rooftop he was alone on, “I might have been too harsh on the kid.”

Bending down onto one knee, he reached into a bag and pulled out a red squawker, lifting his mask to reveal just his mouth.

Shrugging, he mumbled to himself, in unison with Yellow and White, “He’ll get over it.”

Then he blew into the squawker. The loud noise it made was music to his scarred ears. The mercenary sat down, his legs crossed in criss-cross applesauce formation, and started to sing out loud, “Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me!” He sang off key, blowing every so often and looking through his bag of goodies as he did, “Happy Birthday, dear Deadpool… Happy Birthday to me!” He repeated the song obnoxiously, voice and squawker echoing over the rooftops. As he did, he reached into the plastic bag and pulled out his long receipt, throwing it up into the air, as if it was a celebratory flag of some kind, and letting the wind take it away.

_If this isn’t gonna catch his attention, I don’t know what will._

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Spiderman swung through the city using his webs. It was routine. Swing from building to building, street to street, greet anyone who acknowledged him as he patrolled for crime. All in a day’s work.

Although being a superhero and an all-around nice guy had their perks, they also had their downsides.

The webbed wonder couldn’t stop thinking about Dr. Connors. Yesterday he had seemed so much more powerful than usual, and his words, even though he hadn’t done much talking over his yelps of shock, had no effect on his friend. There was no doubt that the Lizard had gotten stronger, but how? What could have given him more abilities than before? Or who?

Not only did Spiderman have his mind on that, but he also couldn’t stop thinking about what Deadpool had said. Before yesterday, he had never met the mercenary face-to-face. When he had said he owed him, he sounded like he was ready to kill the spider right then and there. Afterwards, when he swung home with Deadpool ringing in his ears the whole time while he groaned at his horrible jokes, the mercenary seemed completely under control. How could he go from killer to child in a matter of minutes? Maybe the rumors of him being completely out of his mind had been true.

Either way, he felt genuine _guilt_ for having Deadpool save him like that. It wasn’t like he had called upon him to go out of his way and save his life, but he still wanted to pay him back. The only question was: how? The fact that he was trying to think of ways to pay the mercenary back did not cross out his paranoia. He was already normally paranoid enough, but the fact that Deadpool had been stalking him made him even more paranoid. The stalking had lead to the life-saving, though…

Just as Spiderman shot another web to swing across another street, he saw something flying towards him. He fumbled in order to catch the long piece of paper on his way over, and when he did, he swung himself onto a wall and climbed up until he reached the roof. “What is it with people and littering these days?” He mumbled, sitting in his infamous pose and flipping the thin paper over to see what was written on it. _A receipt?_ He thought to himself, then looked up when he heard someone blow a squawker in the distance.

Spiderman hopped off of the building, shooting a web so that he could swing himself onto the ground. Civilians who passed gave him smiles as they caught sight of him throwing the paper into a trash can. Then the spider walked along the sidewalk, waiting until he was at the building where the squawker noise could be heard the loudest.

After travelling a few buildings down on foot, he looked up at the tall structure and sighed heavily. The people walking by gave curious glances up at the building, but didn’t pay much attention to it. Who was making all that noise?

The spider latched onto the building and climbed up its side, taking a few minutes to get to the top. He had known who it was by the time he got up, considering the obnoxious voice he started to hear at the halfway point. Pulling himself on to the rooftop, he quickly realized his accusations had been correct.

There Deadpool sat, his back turned to the webbed wonder, screeching Happy Birthday lyrics at the top of his lungs.

He had only met the Merc with a Mouth yesterday, but geez, when was this guy going to give him a break? And why was he singing Happy Birthday to himself--

The realization hit Spiderman like there was no tomorrow. It was Deadpool’s birthday and he was sitting on a rooftop celebrating it alone. He _was_ a killer, but nobody deserved a birthday like that. What kind of hero would he be if he didn’t show the guy some sympathy?

While Spiderman was thinking to himself, he didn’t realize that the mercenary noticed his presence.

“Spidey! So glad you could make it!” The mercenary screeched, pulling a party hat out of a bag and attaching it to the boy’s head, letting the elastic go against the bottom of his chin. 

Spiderman winced, but gave a nervous laugh in return, “O- Of course,” he breathed, then gave a sympathetic smile beneath his mask, “I was actually kinda wondering if you’d like to--”

Before he could finish his sentence, the mercenary interrupted him, “If I’d like to what? Get a drink? Go on a hunting spree? Sew Wolverine’s mouth shut? MarryyouandhaveourhoneymooninHawaiisothatwecanlivehappilyeverafterinheavenlybeachtranquility?”

Spiderman cleared his throat. It took everything in his willpower not to turn around at that moment and leave Deadpool to spend the rest of his special day on his own. But no, he chose to be the bigger person, even though his next few words were very, _very_ difficult to articulate. 

Doctor Connors would have to wait.

“... I was going to ask if you’d like to go for a little swing with me?”

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“Woohoo!” Deadpool screamed in ecstasy, his wide grin lining his mask.

The mercenary was clung to Spiderman’s side, the webbed wonder having one arm around him and the other free to shoot webs. They had been swinging across town for some time now, but the man in the red suit found every sling more exciting than the past. There was something heartwarming about how this usual routine for Spiderman could make Deadpool this happy. But the spider willed his thoughts to tone down on the abstractness before he got carried away.

The two swung until they reached the surprise destination that Spiderman had managed to keep secret for the time being. When they landed somewhere near the more urban, outskirt side of the city, Deadpool gasped at the sight.

Passed the entrance, there were rides, over-priced food stands, and-- “The sweet stench of cow manure! A carnival! This is perfect!”

He grabbed Spiderman’s wrist and pulled him along to the front gates, where they would have to pay for tickets to enter. The younger man had forgotten that small detail and since he hadn’t planned on being there that evening, he hadn’t brought his backpack to hold his essentials in, which included his wallet.

“Hey, I know this is kinda rude, but do you have any money on you?” The spider whispered to his unusual companion while they stood in line.

There were three families in front of them.

Deadpool sucked in a breath through his teeth, shaking his head, “Sorry Spidey, I don’t carry a wallet with me while I’m working, it ruins the lines of my suit.”

Right, the spider thought to himself, looking around as if he would be able to think quicker that way.

Two families in front of them now.

As Spiderman was frantically trying to come up with an idea, the mercenary started to silently chuckle beside him, “You know what you need?” He whispered to his spider friend, smirking under his mask.

Spiderman turned his attention to the mercenary, who had suddenly stopped chuckling.

Deadpool crossed his arms and shook his head, disagreeing with something, “No, no,” he sighed, “Pouches. You need pouches.”

The younger man hadn’t said anything before that, so what was Deadpool declining?

“Why do you insist on staying in line if you don’t have any money on you?” Spiderman silently questioned the mercenary, as if he thought the other was lying to him. What did _he_ keep in his pouches?

One family.

Now, they were getting looks from the people around them, but nobody was necessarily scared. Spiderman was well-known to the people and Deadpool was not. They were a perfect combination of subtle but extremely vague mutants. Plus, everyone who saw them probably thought they were both in Spiderman costumes for something that had to do with a YouTube video.

Deadpool didn’t answer the question verbally.

Spiderman got his answer when they reached the front of the line.

“Two general tickets, please,” Deadpool spoke coolly, putting his hand palm-up on the shelf as if expecting the tickets for nothing.

“That’ll be twenty dollars,” The cashier looked as if he was absolutely done with his day and needed a long nap to sleep off how ridiculous the two looked.

Deadpool cleared his throat, taking his hand off the shelf. The cashier rose an eyebrow, probably having expected some money once he returned his hand. What he got instead was a .25 Cal Colt Model gun, resting in the mercenary’s palm, pointed sideways straight at him.

“I’ll shoot your fucking cat,” Deadpool mumbled, his voice changing from its usual high-pitched tone. The cashier was confused, but nonetheless obliged to give him the tickets.

“Let’s keep this quiet, okay?” The older man smiled beneath his mask, returning the gun to its strap and taking the tickets.

Thankfully, he had been lowkey enough that the people standing behind him hadn’t noticed the small weapon, but Spiderman was furious. He grabbed the mercenary’s wrist with a very tight grip, causing him to hiss quietly.

“What the hell was that?” The spider whispered to Deadpool once he had dragged him away from the line, scowling so hard that it could be heard through his voice. He didn’t notice he was still gripping the mercenary’s wrist as he waited for an answer.

“Ow, ow, hey! Ix-nay on the ower-pay!” Deadpool whisper-screamed.

 _Right_ , Spiderman thought to himself and let go of his wrist.

The older man took that as an invitation to take the spider’s wrist instead, dragging him to the entrance. He showed both their tickets and rushed inside, turning to his webbed companion. 

Clapping his hands like a child, he spoke happily, “What should we do first?”

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“I’m shitting myself!” Deadpool screamed humoredly, thinking yelling that to the people who looked like ants below was the funniest thing ever. He had no shame.

As for Spiderman, who was usually swinging several feet above ground, this ride was no different than his usual day.

It was a glider ride, where passengers sat on their stomach and were strapped into a machine that turned them in circular motions way above the ground.

It almost felt just like his web slinging. Almost.

As much as the webbed wonder hated to admit it, sometimes Deadpool could be amusing. He had been shouting monstrosities at the civilians below for the whole ride long, making them inappropriate enough that the people standing around were no longer under the age of fourteen, but appropriate enough not to get a cop called on him for being a public nuisance. Plus, he had this sure-I-act-like-a-child-but-I’m-actually-an-adult-so-you-can’t-tell-me-what-to-do vibe to him. Spiderman knew that because he had said those exact words right before the ride started. Not directly to his webbed friend, but at an indirected source which still confused the younger man. He had decided to ignore it, though.

As the ride slowed to a stop, the mutants took their exit.

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“So, did you like that?” Deadpool asked happily, looking towards Spiderman.

“The ride? Yeah, it was--”

“No, not the ride, silly!”

Spiderman went silent.

“The view of my ass you had the whole time. I know it’s not as amazing as yours, and I wish I could have been behind you, which I will be for sure next time, but--”

The mercenary’s words were cut off -- _Thank God_ , Spiderman thought to himself -- by a loud gasp that escaped his own mouth. He dropped to his knees on the pavement, arms outstretched dramatically at the view in front of him.

Spiderman didn’t understand until he followed Deadpool’s gaze.

“Spidey, we have to go on the Ferris Wheel! Come on!” He grabbed hold of the younger man’s wrist -- for the billionth time that day -- and stood up to drag him to the line up.

As they stood in the short line, Deadpool started to _giggle_.

The spider looked over at his unlikely companion, “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, I just came up with your new franchise title. The Amazing Spiderman: Amazing Ass; now playing in theatres near you!” His voice slowly morphed into that of an announcer’s as the line grew shorter, “In a world devoid of nice asses, one spider must stand alone…”

Spiderman reached over to grab the mercenary’s wrist, squeezing it tighter than before. Nope. He was having none of it. 

“Shit,” Deadpool breathed, slowly dropping onto his knees, “Fuck…” he hissed, pleading for mercy through his actions.

Spiderman smirked beneath his mask, letting go of Deadpool’s wrist.

“Shit-fuck,” The mercenary cradled his wrist in his hand, but recovered quickly since they were at the front of the line then.

After he picked himself off of the ground with minimum confused public glances to spare, the mercenary led Spiderman to their ferris wheel seat.

“After you, my fair lady,” Deadpool motioned for the spider to enter first, obviously not having learned his lesson since he had the whole i-still-think-i’m-funny-even-though-you-almost-broke-my-wrist gig running.

Spiderman smiled beneath his mask, stomped on the mercenary’s foot, and entered first while listening to his string of curse words behind him.

They sat next to each other and the ride soon started. Deadpool had his knees spread apart and his hands cupped between his legs. Spiderman chose to cross his legs and lean back, the height, again, not getting to him like it would others.

“It’s getting dark out,” The mercenary mumbled, then smirked beneath his mask.

He had the perfect idea to pass time, but he knew Spiderman wouldn’t comply well.

“Hey, hey, Spidey,” He elbowed the webbed wonder gently, chuckling softly, “Hey, what time is it, Spidey?”

Spiderman was not amused, “I- I don’t know--”

“Time for you to get a watch!” Jokes! Perfect! The mercenary threw his head back in a fit of laughter, but accidentally banged his head on the glass, causing the mobile to shake.

He groaned silently, but then realized something. For the first time since they had met, Spiderman was actually laughing. He had never heard his laugh before, and while it might have been a normal human sound, it was nice. Well, it wasn’t ugly. The laugh sounded thought out, almost planned. Deadpool had heard some horrible laughs in his past, and he had a lot of pasts, but at least now he knew what reaction he was going to get from his amazing humor in the future.

“You think I’m funny?” He asked Spiderman as he rubbed the back of his own head.

“No, I think you’re clumsy.” The webbed wonder replied, smirking beneath his mask.

 _Close enough_ , Deadpool thought to himself, utterly dumbfounded.

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The rest of the ride had been more bad jokes from Deadpool’s end, and more unamused expressions from Spiderman’s. Once they got off the ride and were strolling in search of one last fun thing to do before they would head home, the younger man gathered up the courage to ask a question that had been on his mind ever since he had met Deadpool. Yes, that was yesterday, but the older man was so strange, who wouldn’t have some questions by now?

“Hey, Deadpool?”

“Yeah, Spidey?” The mercenary hummed quietly as his gaze wandered about the parts of the carnival in search of something interesting.

“Who are you always talking to that’s not me?”

Deadpool chuckled, “Does my little spider friend want more attention from me?”

Spiderman twisted his lips beneath his mask and clenched his fists.

“All you had to do was ask, baby boy--”

“No, I mean whenever you’re mumbling to yourself, or turning your face away,” It was his turn to interrupt the mercenary, “Like yesterday, when we were in the sewers and you were telling someone to shut up? You and I were the only ones down there and--”

“Gasp! Spidey, look over there!”

Spiderman’s confusion was cut off yet again by Deadpool. He could never win.

“Cotton candy!”

The webbed wonder rolled his eyes at the other’s childish ways, “We don’t have any money, remember?” He moved to stand in front of Deadpool, blocking him from walking any further, and lowered his voice, “And I am _not_ letting you use a gun again.”

“Okay, okay,” Deadpool backed down, “Just stay here, and I’ll be right back.”

In a moment of completely not thinking, words managed to fly out of Spiderman’s mouth, “How do I know you’re gonna come back?” He blinked beneath his mask, realizing how chick flick-ey that had sounded out loud. Even Deadpool didn’t say anything, for about point two seconds, which was a new record.

“You’re my ride,” He joked, winking and trotting off until he was out of sight.

It took him about two minutes to return with money, just enough for two cotton candy cones.

But Spiderman was curious, “Where did you get the money?”

“A meaningful donor.” Deadpool answered quickly, which was, of course, a complete lie. He had stolen it from a donation jar when nobody was looking. It’s not like anybody would miss it, and it was going to a worthy cause -- his stomach. Minor details. Minor details that Spiderman didn’t need to know. Miraculously, the younger man chose not to ask, probably because he was starting to get used to Deadpool’s craziness. Or he was fed up with it.

When they got their cotton candies, they sat down on a park bench, physically opposed to each other. Spiderman lifted his mask up to reveal just his mouth and bit into his cotton candy, his gaze wandering around the park as he did so. Deadpool, however, just stared at it blankly. Well, at least that’s what his mask read.

“So, have you heard the one about--”

“No,” Spiderman stopped Deadpool once he started to say something, “You’ve been talking all day, could I ask a question for once, please?”

“And here we thought you were getting used to it.”

Spiderman ignored the weird pronoun.

“You said you didn’t carry a wallet on you while you work because it ruins the lines of your suit, correct?”

“Right you are, Spidey boo.”

Spiderman ignored the new nickname.

“Are you working right now?”

“Well--”

“It didn’t look like you were ‘working’ on the roof today.”

“What is this, pick-on-your-friendly-neighbourhood-pool-guy day?”

Spiderman leaned back a bit, admitting he was getting a bit too nosy when it came to his unusual companion. He took another bite of his cotton candy, but before Deadpool could say anything else to make him lose more brain cells than he already had that day, he spoke again, “Did you have fun?”

The mercenary grinned beneath his mask, outlining it with happiness, “Yeah, thanks Spidey.” He started to use his free hand to sculpt his cotton candy into a dick shape, as if it was sand and he was on a beach.

“Does this mean I don’t owe you anymore?” For the second time that day, words came out of the younger man’s mouth that he hadn’t completely thought through yet. It was a joke, but this time, it would actually cost him.

Deadpool’s grin was gone and it was strange how his demeanor grew dark right before Spiderman’s eyes. His voice lowered, “Wait, is that what this is all about? You didn’t really wanna spend time with me today, did you? You just wanted to pay me back.” Deadpool was talking as if everything was unveiling in front of him. A whole puzzle had been solved. His voice was quick with fast realization.

Spiderman hesitated, but spoke shakily, “What? No, Deadpool, I was trying to treat you to a birthday present! This has nothing to do with me owing you…”

The mercenary tilted his head to the side, “Who said it was my birthday?”

Spiderman couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Uh, _you_ did!”

“I was singing! Jesus, can’t a guy sing whatever he wants without getting falsely accused? No wonder you were being nice to me!”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?!”

By then, both mutants were standing, their palms planted on the wooden table in complete angst.

Deadpool rose his voice, “What I said! On a normal day, you would have treated me like garbage!”

It was Spiderman’s turn to raise his voice, “Why the _hell_ would you sing that song if it wasn’t your birthday? I was trying to be nice!”

“Well, I don’t need your kindness! And neither do White or Yellow; you might not have offered but they don’t want it anyway!” The mercenary stomped over the bench, turning away from the spider, who was fuming behind him. But before he stormed away, he turned around one more time to scream, “And FYI, I saved your life! It’ll take more than a day at the carnival and fake niceness to pay me back!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading. i love comments and everything you guys have to offer me. i wasn't expecting as much attention as the first chapter got, but it motivated me so thank you ^^ also, please feel free to comment anything, including requests or ideas, because i don't fully know where i'm going with this. also constructive criticism is nice but please don't be too rude about it, if that's not asking for too much.
> 
> as for future chapters, how does everyone feel about some monster fighting? and angst and potential drunkness? (although spiderman and deadpool can't get drunk according to canon? can someone clear this up for me? i mean it is a fanFICTION, emphasis on the not being real part, but still...)
> 
> is there such thing as interacting too much with your readers? i've never done this before, so i wouldn't know. anyways, enough babbling from me. thanks for putting up with this ^^' and reading all my notes if anyone really does.


	3. How The Tables Have Turned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i read somewhere that spider-man cannot get sick in canon. just imagine this as he must have something really bad, but because of his powers, its lessened itself into a flu instead of a lethal disease. if that makes any sense.
> 
> cue deadpool actually having a heart even after spider-man 'wronged' him.

“If I was Spidey, where would I hide?”

Deadpool had been sitting on the top of a building with his legs dangling off the edge and a gun fondled between his hands for almost two hours. What was he doing, you may ask? Well--

“I didn’t mean to get rid of his pretty little ass, White! Maybe you should listen to Yellow for a change, then we’ll see who knows what they’re talking about!”

That.

His voices had been more prominent since him and Spider-Man had had that huge fight at the carnival. He had been sitting here while the soft breeze blew past him, arguing about Spider-Man’s whereabouts with them.

After that night, the webbed wonder had completely disappeared and Deadpool had no idea where he went. The first day he could understand if the younger man was still mad at him, but now it was day three and there was still no sign of him.

White blamed the mercenary for being so stupid and trying to get Spider-Man’s attention in the worst way possible while Yellow was freaking out and suggesting something had happened to him. The Merc had been stupid, but Spider-Man couldn’t stay mad at him for this long, could he? 

There was only one way to find out.

“Pack your bags, boys, we’re movin’ to Spidey Town!” He announced to his voices, with which they retailed that they could not move because they were in his head. Deadpool ignored them, however, and stood up, stuffing his gun back into its holster.

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Deadpool remembered where the webbed wonder’s apartment was from the first time he had followed him home, and all the other times he had stalked him there. That was why he knew exactly what number it was. The window was closed, so he had to take the front entrance. Buzzing in was no problem, considering all he had to do was wait for someone else to buzz themselves in and follow quickly behind. The suit did get him strange looks, but the building wasn’t infested with people wandering the lobby and halls, so nobody really called him out on it.

After a very awkward elevator ride including an old lady and a journey passed a kid who kept calling him Spider-Man in the hallway, he finally got to the actual spider’s apartment. Raising his hand to knock, he paused, whispering to himself, “I don’t care what you two think, I just want my Spidey to be okay. He may or may not kick me out, but he still has a balcony, y’know.” Without further adieu, the mercenary found himself giving the door three swift knocks before returning his hands behind his back sweetly.

Peter’s state had escalated from a stuffy nose to the flu overnight. He had been fine during the Lizard fight and the carnival day, but once he got home after that terrible argument he had had with Deadpool, the rest of the night consisted of cold sweat and passing in and out of sleep. It was bad, too, because he was still sick on the morning of the third day.

He had already missed two days of work, and calling in today got him a stern yelling from J. Jonah Jameson, his boss at the Daily Bugle. Peter was a photographer for that paper, and the biggest demand from him was pictures of Spider-Man almost every single day. He had told his boss that he was friends with the webbed wonder and in turn, convinced him to pose in order for him to be able to take pictures. That, of course, was a complete lie, but Jameson bought it and had been demanding more ever since.

Today, Peter was sprawled on his bed in just his boxers, hidden under his blanket. That was, until he heard the knocks at his door. Who would want to see him now out of all other times? 

Slowly, the young man groaned and stood up, forcing himself to walk to his door. Whenever he stood he would get dizzy, so this was a particular challenge.

Peter peeked through the peephole of his door, and when he realized it was the guy in the red suit, he rushed to get his own suit on. No way was he going to let Deadpool figure out his identity. This also meant he had already, subconsciously decided to open the door for him. After he got himself into his Spider-Man uniform, he had to quickly sit down on his couch in order to keep the room from spinning, before getting up again to open the door.

He swung the door open to reveal a Deadpool with his fist raised, ready to knock on the door again in order to get Spider-Man’s attention.

The mercenary gasped, “Spidey! You’re alive!” He threw his arms around the webbed wonder, to which the younger man had to gather all the strength he had left to push him away, harshly. 

“What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean?” Deadpool was puzzled at the way Spider-Man was acting, but he shouldn’t have been.

“I thought you didn’t wanna see me until I paid you back.”

“I never said that.”

Okay, Peter knew he was putting words into the mercenary’s mouth, but he was too tired to hide what he had been thinking during his days away from the outside world.

Deadpool blinked beneath his mask.

“Have a good day,” the spider said, wanting the mercenary gone because he really couldn’t handle having that conversation right then, and he wouldn’t be able to stand much longer. 

Deadpool moved his palm against the door, pushing to keep it open as he towered over Spider-Man, “Look, I could have been anywhere I wanted right now, but I chose to come here and check on you. Let me in, and we can talk this ou--”

He was interrupted by Spider-Man, whose knees had just given out on him.

Deadpool leaned down, twisting his body awkwardly so that he could lift the spider up bridal-style and carry him to wherever his room was. After accidentally walking into the bathroom, he finally scoped out the bedroom, walking in and placing the younger man on his blanket. “Jesus Christ, Spidey, what the hell was that?”

Spider-Man groaned slightly, “I didn’t need you to carry me, I can take care… of myself…” He leaned his head back against his pillow, feeling the on-and-off nauseousness in his stomach return again. The thing was, he hadn’t been eating a lot because of it lately, so if he was to vomit, it wouldn’t be a rainbow.

Deadpool twisted his lips beneath his mask, “Spidey, are you sick? Have you been this whole time?”

Spider-Man opened his mouth and was about to speak when the mercenary spoke up again, “Don’t you worry your pretty little ass, sweetums, Mr. Man’ll take care of you!”

Spider-Man didn't have the energy in him to groan again, which meant he also didn’t have the energy in him to decline the mercenary’s offer. Yay. Not really.

“Do you need anything?” Asked the masked man, clasping his hands together in anticipation. There was something about his body language that would have given off the mysterious glint in his eye, but Spider-Man wasn’t looking up to see it. Instead, he rolled over in his bed, and weakly grasped his pillow to his stomach as a response. His whole body was visibly fragile, even more so than it normally looked. His lanky arms were limp around his pillow, and there wasn’t a single tense muscle in his body. Deadpool knew all this just from looking at him. “Did I hear a ‘yes please, my handsome mercenary’? Okay, what would you like, sweetums?” He started to creep over to the door, holding his hand around his ear as if straining to hear a second imaginary response. “Oh? Did I hear that you want some tea?”

He beamed beneath his mask, “Sure thing, hubby, all you had to do was ask!” Then Deadpool was on way his way to the kitchen before Spider-Man could let out another disapproving groan.

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It took a little over a while for Deadpool to search for and find the tea bags in the kitchen. Waiting for the kettle was no less than a nightmare turned reality. His patience was really low. It usually helped with the whole mercenary part of his occupation.

When he walked back into the webbed wonder’s room, he was laying on his back with the pillow pressed close to his upper body. His head turned slightly to look at the other through his mask, and he wanted to ask why he had his suit on when he wasn’t out as Spider-Man, but decided against it. He looked too tired to answer anyway.

“I brought tea, just like you asked!” The older man cheered, sitting on the edge of the bed and placing the cup of tea on the dresser.

Spider-Man squinted his eyes beneath his mask, the fact that the mercenary had been snooping through his cupboards kind of bothering him. On the other hand, what could have he expected from letting him in?

“Let’s get you sitting up.” He slipped his arms beneath the boy’s, and pulled him up to rest his back against the headboard. When he heard Spider-Man make a small noise, he paused and blinked. It wasn’t a groan, but it wasn’t a mumble either. It sounded more like a--

“I didn’t ask.” His thoughts were cut off by the younger.

“What?”

“The tea-- I didn’t ask for it.”

“Yellow says that’s an awfully gutsy thing to say when I have a cup of burning hot tea near me.” When Deadpool earned a confused look from Spider-Man, one that was so relevant it burned through the younger boy’s mask, he smiled victoriously. It wasn’t that he was open to speaking about what he was going through in his messed up mind; he was open to confusing the shit out of his new friend. White kept telling him that they might not even be friends, considering the way Spider-Man acted around him. He thought it was probably the time of the month for the webbed wonder; superheroes got that way, too. Didn’t they? As he chuckled at his thoughts, the mercenary got the tea ready on a small plate and placed it on the pillow which was then conveniently in the other’s lap. “It’s earl grey. Tell me if you need any more sugar- oh! Let me help you with that-” He reached out to grasp the hem of the spider’s mask gently, to which he smacked his hand away. Pain wasn’t something the mercenary was big on feeling, but the webbed wonder had quite the strength, even if he was sick.

“Don’t- I’ll do it.”

Deadpool tightened his lips as he watched the other lift his mask up to reveal his mouth. It wasn’t a big enough clue to reveal who he was underneath, but then again, the mercenary wasn’t looking to know. They were both in the underoos business (the spider more than him) and there was probably a code written somewhere in the book of superhero rules about “thou not seeking to reveal another hero’s identity under any circumstances.” He was sure-

“Wow--” Spider-Man snapped him out of his thoughts once again. (Thank the higher authorities for his mask, or else he would have looked stupid dazing off every few seconds in front of the webbed wonder.) “--I didn’t know you were an expert tea maker.” Just the sound of Spider-Man joking around was enough to get Deadpool smiling, and playing along: “There are lots of things they teach you in mercenary school that often go unnoticed. Like how to tie your shoes in thirty-eight different languages and communicate with people of any cultures in under two seconds.” That earned a genuine laugh from the younger, although raspy because of the sickness. It was still an achievement unlocked!

「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」

“I saw a television while I was snooping around.”

“Tea is usually in the kitchen.”

“Who says tea bags can’t be hidden in the living room behind an old widescreen TV? Hmm?”

“Well-”

“Don’t make this a religious thing, Spidey.” Before the webbed wonder could state how confused he was, Deadpool decided to pick him up bridal style. Spider-Man made a small noise of surprise as he was thrown up into the air slightly, then zoomed out of his bedroom. He was spun around, through the kitchen, then to the living room.

“Deadpool!” Spider-Man exclaimed brightly, causing the mercenary to halt. For a moment, the spider was afraid he had done something wrong. He had only known the other for barely under a week, and if he had learned anything within that time frame, it was that the mercenary didn’t have any limits. That’s why he was so confused-

“Just call me Wade, uptight.”

Oh.

“Okay, Wade.”

「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」「」

Spider-Man groaned softly, his forearm covering his eyes and his head rested back against the pillow on his bed. He had his legs apart, and other arm sprawled out in the open. The mask covered his red cheeks and he was thankful Deadpool wouldn’t be able to see how flustered he was beneath it. The things the mercenary was doing to him he was surprised he could handle. He made him exhausted, and unable to keep his breathing in check, and all the teenager was doing was laying there. The younger boy didn’t know how they had ended up this way, but-

“All these board games suck, Spidey!”

-Deadpool was more annoying than usual that evening.

“But those are all so much fun, especially when you’re procrastinating final essays!” Spider-Man whined back. They both sounded like children and had been for the passed ten minutes. While the webbed wonder was trying to recover, Deadpool had suggested for them to play a game, and although the younger didn’t have enough energy to do so, it wasn’t like the mercenary gave him any other choice. So there Wade stood, searching through the younger’s closet of board games, while the webbed wonder laid in his bed with a protruding fever. Pausing abruptly, the mercenary gasped, causing Spider-Man to uncover his masked face and look over quickly. “What? What is it?” Patience was a virtue, the teenager knew that, but sometimes he came short of it.

Deadpool turned around, holding a homemade card close to his chest, as if it was his heart’s heat source. “Is this. . . for me?” It had a horribly drawn picture of two stick figures on it, one being Deadpool and one being him (which was easy to tell considering one had a red mask and swords on its back while the other, a spider on its chest). And on top, there were big, bold letters that read: I’m sorry. If Spider-Man hadn’t been sick to his stomach, he would have jumped out of bed to snatch the card from the other. Instead, he aimed his wrist, palm upright, and shot a web to contract the thought from the mercenary’s hands. 

“Hey! No fair!” Deadpool rushed over to the bed, sitting on the side of it and leaning close to the spider.

“Not all of us can shoot webs out of our wrists, you know!”

Spider-Man rolled his eyes beneath his mask, and tucked the card away under his pillow. 

Smirking, the mercenary straightened his back.

“So, what were you apologizing for?”

The teenager paused, twisting his lips beneath his mask. As if he was trying to decided on having the conversation now or never. It was a change in character, really, considering the suit made him feel like the most carefree person ever. Now that he wasn’t patrolling and Deadpool was in his home, it didn’t have the same effects it usually did, so he would have to rely on himself not to burn the situation out.

“Respectfully, Mr. Pool, I think it’s safe to say that this--” he gestured a thumb behind him to his pillow, “--is none of your beeswax.”

The key was to act just as joking as the mercenary, which wasn’t hard considering his age. 

Deadpool tilted his head, “None of my beeswax? That card has my beeswax all over it in horrible drawings, there’s no knowing how much of my beeswax is written inside, now gimme!” He moved so that he was straddling the spider, and attempted to reach under the pillow, but the other grabbed his wrist. Wade hissed, not having expected such a strong squeeze. He felt it in his bones.

Spider-Man dropped his grip, “I’m so sorry, dude- Didn’t mean to hurt you.” But the mercenary was still breathing unevenly, in pain.

“You did more than that, Spidey.”

Spider-Man cocked his head to the side. A question mark popped out of his raised eyebrow.

“You broke me.” Deadpool lifted his wrist to reveal his hand, which was hanging, the bone legitimately broken.

A wave of shock pulsed through the webbed wonder’s body, and he frowned. He opened his mouth to say something, but it was as if there was a wall of guilt blocking his vocal chords from working properly.

Then, the man in the red suit started to laugh loudly. “I’m just joking, Spidey! Broke it myself just to see your face! It was priceless, but don’t worry, I’ll heal!” He kept laughing, and Spider-Man was too busy feeling relieved to be angry with him.

But the situation rose a question in his curious mind: “How does that work, then? You can’t feel pain?”

Deadpool’s laughter stopped abruptly.

He stood up off of the younger, and paced in front of the bed, using his dangling hand to rub at his chin. If he was to answer the question, surely he wouldn’t need to put that much thought into it, and Spider-Man didn’t have to be a science genius to know that. But before he could say anything to interrupt the older man’s trail of thought, he spoke up: “That’s not gonna work.”

For the billionth time since they met, Spider-Man was confused.

“What’s not gonna work?”

“Well, if you’re going to ask me questions then you owe me answers too, don’t you think?”

The spider breathed to say something, but was interrupted again: “Don’t answer that. It didn’t count. Go on, ask me what you wanted to ask me.”

“I already did.” The younger spoke fast this time.

“Refresh my memory.”

There was a pause between them.

The teenager was slightly irritated, and the mercenary knew it.

“Okay,” Spider-Man breathed, “I know you can regenerate, but can you feel pain?”

“Yes, I can feel pain. But it doesn’t have the same effect as it would if I couldn’t heal.” Replied Deadpool, who sounded as serious as he ever had in front of the spider. Slowly nodding, Spider-Man was satisfied with the response.

“Now, it’s my turn.” He heard Deadpool say, so he raised his head again to look over at him. 

“What were you apologizing for?”

Spider-Man cursed under his breath. Outsmarted by a mercenary who was prone to reciting a dick joke every five seconds. That was a new low for him.

“I wanted to apologize for the argument we had the night we went to the carnival. . .”

“Apology accepted.”

“. . . I get it if you don’t want to forgi-” Spider-Man’s eyebrows furrowed when he realized what the mercenary had said. “Wait, what?”

“You heard me.”

Huh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally have a direction in where this story is going! this update took a while but i've just gotten busy. expect chapters more often from now on! thanks for reading ^^
> 
> (if i made any mistakes, don't be afraid to tell me.)

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know if i should continue this. if i do, i know what the next chapter will be, but i don't really know if people wanna read more.. ^^'  
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
> thanks for the motivation guys <3


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